Sharmyn asked for a few sample poems from our recent reunion, and I am happy to oblige. My Uncle Gary has put them up on Facebook, so if you're my friend you can go to my page and see some of them. They are funny in written form, but even funnier when delivered by the author.
Here's the one we started with. My dad wrote a nice tribute to the in-laws who have plagued him since 1966.
Wilde Memories
Bewitched and beguiled
Was this family Wilde
Searching the world for excitement.
Journeys were long
And sometimes went wrong
But finally led to enlightenment.
Barbara was first
On the Wilde scene to burst
And Maxine was followed by Lynn.
After Becky was Jane
And then Nancy came,
Followed by young brother Jim.
At eleven eleven
This mecurial seven
Spent the first years since their birth.
Growing up quick
They were all soon to skip
Off to the ends of the earth.
And now once a year
They gather to hear
Old stories told time after time.
We’ve heard them all once,
Two, three times or a bunch
But the telling improves like fine wine.
So listen up Wildes
These memories are piled
On top of each other to share.
No Wilde escapade
From memory will fade
So long as there’s someone to care.
This one is from my highly competitive cousin Jeff. He sent me four revisions before he was satisfied with it. He wore chaps and sang this to the tune from The Beverly Hillbillies. I ended with him, and he brought the house down!
The Wilde Western Ballad
sung to the tune of Beverly Hillbillies
Come listen to a story 'bout a family from Salina
The man, he loved to fish, and no dogs did eat finer.
But then one day did come to this family name o' Wilde
A great big brood of kids, yes, there was a lot of childs!
Six girls, that is. And one hell-raisin' boy.
Well the first thing you know ol' Barb's a millionaire,
The rich folk said, "Barb, move away from there!"
She did but while away she did somethin' kinda funny -
Collectin' mucho stuff that done cost a lotta money.
Shoes that is. Imelda Marcos style.
Maxine's not quite as rich, though she also likes to travel.
But by waitin' 'til she's old, then her plans they did unravel.
Took a trip to Israel, saw things spiritual and quaint,
Until in her hotel, she did go inside and faint.
Off to the hospital she goes. No speaka English there.
Well, next comes Lyn, she's got miles and piles of books,
and when you drop by to visit, you just know she's gonna cook.
Servin' prime grub to her guests, but the food it ain't as good
as the stuff she always gives to the critters in the woods!
Rabbits that is. And deer and squirrels and birds. DON'T hurt them.
Now, Becky's kitchen floor, in her house, it was no good,
And replace it yes she did, with some oh so purdy wood.
You'd a thought she woulda known that high heels were gonna nick
the wood, she raised a fuss, and the floor the store did fix.
Nordstrom's, that is. 'Cuz they didn't wanna lose HER business.
Well, Jane was kinda young and put a hanger in her teeth,
Threw a scarf upon her head, lookin' like a Christmas wreath,
How can people on the bus, seeing this, not think it strange?
All Salt Lake must know that the Wildes are deranged!
Crazy, that is. Plum loco.
Now Nancy teaches school to some kids who aren't so bright,
And while clinically challenged, well, she still knows how to write.
Yes she's proud enough to brag that her poem is kinda fine,
but she don't even know how cowboy poems should rhyme!
ABAB. And she believed it.
The hell raiser is Jim; he is brash and he is brazen,
And a cop he is because, in his youth the cops did raise him.
The Mexican sombrero on his head was rather horny,
You gotta think it was because he's from Californy!
Central Valley, that is. A hundred degree "melting pot."
Well now it's time to end this poem 'bout all the Wilde clan,
So if your nose I did tweak, well then, take it like a man!
You gotta laugh and love, that's what life is all about.
Us Wildes do have fun, of that there is no doubt!
Wilde reunions rock. Y'all come back now, y'hear?
Aunt Maxine, Jeff's mother and my mom's older sister, sent in this one. It gives some great family history.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN FROM ELEVEN-ELEVEN
In 1937, a very difficult time,
A family of four, eventually to number nine
Moved to an old house at Eleven-Eleven Third Ave
A house with three bedrooms and, alas, one bath.
Six girls and one boy grew up in that home,
The boy arriving last, feeling very alone.
Life in that home was not terrible, but not good
But, something kept them together, like boys in the hood.
Times were tough, with many a fight.
Mom and Dad tussling gave the kids a fright.
However, all carried on, gaining values at home,
Even with fighting, parents set an honest tone.
Mom and Dad passed on to that heavenly home
Before the youngest were able to be on their own.
Jim, the lone boy previously mentioned
Moved in with Lyn, and although well-intentioned,
Later found himself living with a family named Cooper,
Who welcomed and loved him and made him feel super.
Nancy moved to New Mexico with Barbara and Jim,
A nd grew up with Jackie, almost like a twin.
What mischief one of them couldn’t invent
The other could think of, and with real intent
They terrorized Las Cruces and points beyond
And still with each other share a great bond.
From these parents - Dorothy and Lew
Their seven children have raised their own few -
All beautiful and bright, they bring great pride.
Just wish Dorothy and Lew in this joy could abide.
If they could admit it, their seven turned out great,
And their grandchildren would have been frosting on the cake.
The traits passed on by that feuding Mom and Dad
Resulted in strengths the kids didn’t know they had.
Over 70 years later, it has become very clear
That these siblings hold each other ever so dear.
Each time they’re together they share memories they have
Of their humble beginnings at Eleven-Eleven Third Ave.
My mom, the "wanted child" and middle of the seven, wrote this one.
An Ode to Our Wildeness
The house was awfully crowded,
So many girlie girls.
A dad with too many women,
A mom who wanted pearls.
Dad was mighty handsome.
Mom caused heads to turn.
Those girls were just plain gorgeous,
Still are, as you’ll soon learn.
And that baby brother?
Now, there’s a manly man.
He survived those gorgeous sisters
Who are his biggest fans.
Life wasn’t very easy
In that house on the Avenues.
But is life ever easy?
If so, tell me, whose?
We’re older now, we Wilde siblings.
We’re achy and crotchety and gray.
Ben Gay, Metamucil and Ex Lax are our friends.
How else to face the day?
Mom and Dad are dead and buried.
Sister Barbara, too.
The rest of us are still kickin’.
What else is there to do?
We love and worry about each other
And our progeny so dear.
Kids and grandkids make our days complete.
And I say with loud assurance – WE’RE STILL HERE!
My uncle, whom I have never really known, wrote this. His older sisters just adore this baby brother of theirs.
Ode to the old Broads
Sent out West from the place he loved best
A whole new world to put to the test
California bound for his new stomping ground
“Who are these people?” he thought as he frowned
Raised by (3) sisters for the last three years
Now by another – which will bring her to tears
A family fragmented one would assume
And for the young one – a life filled with gloom
But nay I say and I say it out loud
I am a Wilde and outlandishly proud
There are six sisters – now all older than dust
And the youngest a boy – still handsome and robust
This is his ode to his sisters a plenty
When together conversing -you’d swear there are twenty
From each of his sisters’ lessons he was taught
Here’s just a few as some food for thought
Big Sister Barbara – Calm, cool and collected
The lesson of patience - which I haven’t quite perfected
Big Sister Max- A casual grace and a smile always present
The lesson of composure, even when things aren’t so pleasant
Big Sister Lynn – A goddess of orderliness and perfection
The lesson of cleanliness – I hope it doesn’t become an obsession….
Middle Sister Becky – All things prim and proper
The lesson of manners – I do try, but remember I’m a copper
Middle/Little Sister Jane - Ms. Leather and Lace
The lesson to be a man – Or she’d punch me in the face
Little Sister Nancy – Learned and Light hearted
The lesson of humor – To laugh at someone who just farted
So you may see that though separated in miles
We are very close in memories and smiles
The lessons I’ve learned from these sisters of mine
I will carry with me until the end of time
Now a Californian - a state in a real rut
But at least our governor can kick your governor’s butt
One thing of value I have found since being out west
Is a gal named Tami Jean and as a partner she’s the best
Not a Wilde it seems by lineage, heritage or breeding
But the lack of mental stability indicates she is succeeding
Apparently there are rules to this cowboy game
So to lose on a technicality would surely be a shame
But I will not fret - nor will I cast blame
Because I’m certain my competition is undoubtedly lame
My Aunt Nancy, second youngest in the family, contributed this gem. She may well be the craziest of the bunch and that is saying a LOT. When she emailed this to me, the attachment was called "The Award Winning Poem." As she read this, she kept cracking herself up.
THEY CAME ROUND THE MYRTLE
They came round the myrtle from 1111,
Count them – you’ll find they number 7.
Possibly scared and filled with dread
Running from Mrs. Middlestead
Six girls and a boy from Dorothy and Lew,
Without that dear boy, oh, what would they do?
For 26 years the couple reproduced.
For birth control they had no use.
After five kids, poor Nanc was the “6th damn girl”,
Got poor ole Lew’s knickers in a whirl.
5 years later - along came Jim.
Good thing Mother gave in on a whim
On a Saturday night at age 42
She conceived another to add to the crew.
The first was Barbara, refined enough
Until she left the car to let a wee fluff.
JR didn’t know when he married the best
That she could out-belch any cowboy in the west.
Gave birth to 2, but raised many others
Oh, how we miss her and how we love her.
Maxine was next, so kind and sweet
A handsome cowboy she did meet.
When the sweet-talking scoundrel named LaVell,
Asked her to marry him, she said “Swell!”
They did get hitched and had 4 kids
A fine bunch of whipper-snappers they is!
Now Lyn, born third, is another story
Give her a drawer to clean – she’s in her glory
Married Dale - a nice, small town guy
Had 3 daughters – the apples of his eye.
Jennifer, Kimberley and Robin
At times laugh so hard, they just start sobbin’.
Smack in the middle and the “wanted child”
Came our sweet Becky-raucous and wild.
Threw sand in your face and then loved you better.
Wayne didn’t know she was such a go-getter
When they married and had three beautiful girls;
Then grandkids came; their life is now in a whirl.
Mother’s little papoose – our dark eyed Jane
Came 5th and our lives were never the same.
Oh, blessed be how our mother did cuss
Taking Jane, hanger stuck in her teeth, on the bus
Talented and creative and a heart of gold
Jane brought 2 more grandkids into the fold.
The last girl, Nancy, has managed to stay
On the right side of the law and not locked away.
Jackie, the oldest grandchild and a pain in the tush
Made Nancy help her burn down a bush.
Nancy married Ray – he had 2, they had 3
Making a total of 5 to add to the family tree
Oh, glory be and praise to the heavens
A baby boy came as number 7.
William James Wilde, the blessed one,
The one and only Wilde son.
Took him a while and a little shove
But he finally married Tami, his first true love
Now as you can see from this motley crew
The Wilde bunch is a group that just grew and grew.
We may be crazy, dysfunctional, and loud
But Mother and Dad would be so proud
To call these wild heathen’s their own
And watch them across the wild west as they roam.
When we all get together once a year
'Tis an event the rest of the community fears
The noise and the laughter can be heard for miles
As we laugh and talk and share many smiles.
Lyn’s famous cookies, food by the ton
Make all of us happy and we have so much fun.
We love each other and want you to know
That our love for each other will only grow.
And keep in mind, cowboys: fat, thin, short and tall
If you mess with one Wilde, you mess with them all!!
Now, if you've made it this far you can see that they all had a lot of fun and that they are a very witty, verbal group. There were a few more entries, but I've left them off in the interest of length.
